Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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