Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
