I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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