Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
