Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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