somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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