once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We just shotgunned beers for America
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
