She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
