you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
