Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
