My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
