college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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