ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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