They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
