So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
