im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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