guys are not supposed to queef...right?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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