Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
