The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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