Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
