i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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