She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
