So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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