I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
