I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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