just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
