Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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