and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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