real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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