And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
