Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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