OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
