Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
