Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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