just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
