I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
