I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
