why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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