help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
