I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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