Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
