I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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