xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
