Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
