I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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