May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
