I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
