I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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