i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
