Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
