You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
